wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
