he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
