I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
