I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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