wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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