drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
