He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
