He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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