Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
