After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
