shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
