If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
