I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
