I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and she was petting her beer can
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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