every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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