Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
