I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
