Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
