your parents love me but you hate me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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