just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
