Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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