"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
