Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
