you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
