I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
