can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
