that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
