Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
