apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
