So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
