I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
