Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You ruined the universe
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
