the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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