True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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