Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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