i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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