She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
