you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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