I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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