I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
