HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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