I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
