There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
