my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
