So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
