The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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