none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
