Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
