bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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