it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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