Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Screwed.edu
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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