It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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