So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
