I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
