is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
